Charlie Box don't surf!

I promised an endorsement, while also acknowledging it shouldn't count for anything - because who the fuck am I, right? Regardless, as much as I spout off about these poor bastards running for mayor, I can't go limp now.

I will be voting, I'll have to make a choice and I will share it with you the night before I do so. I don't care to sway your vote. You have your own reasons and beliefs. I'll just tell you what decided it for me as best I can.

It might come late, but by the time you wake to go about your civic duty on Tuesday, The Patriot will have spoken.

I'm really trying to keep an open mind until the WNTA debate is over Monday. That'll be the last stand for all 4 gentlemen and I expect friends, political figures and strangers will start dropping by the compound sometime Monday morning, demanding to start the tailgate party.

Once I wake up Monday, there'll be no sleep until Wednesday. When I regain consciousness sometime Thursday or Friday, I'll lick my wounds and pack my bags for Puerto Rico. I'm leaving Saturday, but will stay connected through the miracle of the porn machine. Some friends are making a movie (not a porno) in San Juan and I wanna get some color before summer.It'll be a nice break. I need to get to the beach for a recharge every now and then. Normally, I head home to San Marcos, CA. Most of the family is out that way, and I like to do a little surfing when I can.

By the way, I highly recommend winter surfing on Lake Michigan when you can't get to an ocean.

But it's been too long since I've been to Puerto Rico and it'll be good to see old friends. Mid-April typically marks the end of peak surfing down there, but I'm hoping for some nice swell anyway. Then again, I might just stick around there to do some surfing when hurricane season starts in June.

We'll just have to see how long the local authorities will be tolerant of me before I have to make a hasty exit from the archipelago.

Fear not. We're in it together as we inherit whatever disaster we find ourselves stuck with April 8.

Take comfort in knowing we've got 4 years to make sure Dave Syverson gets his dick knocked in the dirt when he runs for mayor.

Yep, I'm still smellin' trouble for Larry

Does anyone else get the feeling aldermen are delaying budget cuts until the last possible moment for the most devious of reasons?

Could it be council Democrats and Republicans, working in concert, are preparing for a March 30 drive-by anal-rape of all the projects Morrissey holds dear? I'm betting on it.

By delaying any real public deliberations on the budget cuts, Morrissey has been left in the dark and out of the loop, Baby.

I mean, they haven't talked about anything. There are, of course, the obvious issues of ambulance fees, minimum staffing in the fire department and the less-talked-about scheduling changes in the police department. But those are drops in the bucket when we're talking about $8 million worth of snips. They could be made anywhere, and it'll be fun watch, courtesy of handsomely-compensated, yet technologically inept, Comcast.

The trap will be sprung the night before the city's mandated deadline for passing its spending plan. If, for whatever reason, they don't pass a budget, the projected deficit just got a whole lot worse. It won't happen, though, despite Pat Curran's anxiety nightmares.

There's a bit of a Monday night ritual here at the compound. Friends, acquaintances, strangers and political figures begin knocking on my door around 4 pm, usually disturbing my breakfast, but at least they bear gifts, guns and good memories.

Martinis are deployed and smoke permeates the air. A line begins to form for the bathroom before the meeting eventually gets started, no less than 30 minutes late usually. A hundred tenuously-filled shot glasses litter the coffee table and the game begins. The rules are simple.

You drink a shot whenever:
-Linda McNeely says "Mr. Mayor"
-Larry says "Thank you very much," which we all repeat in Elvis voices
-Frank Beach votes against a liquor license
-Joe Sosnowski or Jeff Holt abstain from a vote because of a conflict of interest
-Pat Curran brings apple-related goodies for the council
-Doug Mark's hair is a little goofy
-Carl Wasco doesn't make sense
-Victory Bell says "aldermans"
-Lenny Jacobson says "Your Honor"
-Anne Thompson looks surprised because of a plastic surgery disaster
-Bill Timm thanks a department head
-John Beck tries to justify the millions of taxpayer dollars thrown into the Metrocentre
-Dan Conness fucks up trying to read

So, why will donkeys and elephants stampede together Monday night? Because the mayor is neither, Holmes.

This certainly isn't a year that Republicans expect to have a chance for the mayor's mansion. Even Jan Klaas is laughing at John Harmon. Kind of a shame any way you look at it. Historically, the guy's 100% unlikable, but I've gotta admit again, a conservative might be the best thing for the city right now. I know it won't happen, however, so that really just leaves Larry and Doug.

That is not meant to discourage Jesus Correa, by the way. He's stated there's no way he'll win, but that doesn't mean he hasn't got ideas that he's not in a unique position to share with a relatively wider audience than he'll find in a coffee shop or bar that's already tuned him out. I'm all ears, Jesus, and so are our readers. My invitation stands if you have any sort of platform you'd like to share.

It's encouraging to see that at least the local media acknowledge a Green Party candidate, and that Jesus is being included in the mayoral forums. I have much to teach you about running a real campaign, Jesus, but you and your friends are spending entirely too much time looking for clippings on this blog, and not nearly enough time getting off your Generation-Why? asses.

By the way, you and your friend - I'll call him beefcake - have developed impotence over some photo I posted along with a reference to you. HINT: Don't post it on the internet if you don't want people to see it.

[THIS IS NOT A PHOTO OF JESUS CORREA VII]

Is there a photo you'd prefer me to use, or should I just not give Correa any more free press? Shall I also remove Mr. Correa from my mayoral poll? Hell, I'll remove every reference to Jesus ever being in the race. Would that make you happy? Can do. Awaiting your prompt approval to do so, and I'll pull the butt-plug right away.

City Hall is already filled with assholes, beef-beef. There's no room for you, but you're welcome to stay in the political manger with the rest of the sheep and swine.

Free advice to Jesus: Ditch anyone who thinks that was a piece of photography good enough to be some sort of bargaining chip on a blog that means absolutely nothing to anyone.

Back to the two-way race between Block and Morrissey. For a time, I believed Republicans would stand behind Larry, because an independent is better than a Democrat in their eyes, right?

That does not seem to be the case now. The two parties appear to be doing away with any hope for a three-or-more-party system in Rockford, despite indie aldermanic candidates. Larry was set-up from the beginning, and it'll be a long time before another third-party candidate holds the mayor's office. Aldermen will do their best to see to that March 30.

That's not to say I support Larry. We're just talking politics here. Jesus (not Correa), take your heart and blood pressure medications already. Mr. Correa, you should probably take your meds, too, whatever they may be. We will all need to be heavily sedated once Doug Block or Larry Morrissey wins.

Why wait? I think I'll sedate myself now.

It doesn't seem to be working. Shit.

A note from Jesus

I just received a note from Green Party mayoral candidate Jesus Correa. For fear the buried comment may go unnoticed by readers, I'm reprinting it here:

Correa wrote:

"If you had taken the time to come to the GCC mayoral forum you would have seen what I am capable of doing. I behaved as myself, I cracked jokes and at the same time was putting out ideas, and making the other cndidates address issues that I brought up. Unfortunately you were not there, and neither was Larry.
Why hide behind the facade of a dead man?
You are doing a good thing here, you should do it with your own likeness and voice as opposed to using an alter ego. or at least make up your own alter ego."

He has a valid point that deserves to be addressed. I think I've alluded to it before, but I'll talk about it some more.

If, let's say, I'm employed by a local governmental agency, I'd be put in a position where my criticisms could be accompanied by serious repercussions. Frankly, I like my job and would prefer to keep it if I can. (My wife and kids would appreciate that too).

It's a shame I can't freely speak as a citizen on my own time without having to worry about it when I'm on the clock, but that's just the way it is. My anonymity provides the opportunity to remove the filters that might normally censor what I want to say.

I used the name Raoul Duke (by the way, as a fictional character, I disagree that he is "dead") because I feel it suits my style. But then, I suppose I could make up some name that means nothing to anyone. I'll be glad to entertain any suggestions for other pseudonyms, but this blog isn't about me, so it seems trivial.

I'll note my profile photo is actually yours truly, albeit electronically obscured for the reasons stated above.

By the way, Jesus, glad to hear you were more in your element at the GCC forum. Sorry I missed it.

Correa scores a three-pointer vs. Morrissey @ RRStar debate

I'm working my way through a replay of yesterday's mayoral debate at the Rockford Register Star. From time to time, you can hear John Harmon consoling Jesus Correa, who often looks as though he's about to burst into tears as he stumbles for words to spit out.

When Larry Morrissey boasted about jobs added at Anderson Packaging - calling it a shining example of a TIF - Correa called him on it. Unfortunately, by this time, most people had tuned him out.

Last year, Anderson Packaging was given $1.1 million in TIF incentives. I'm told by company insiders that Anderson execs allegedly celebrated their windfall at strip clubs in Lake Geneva, but I can't verify this.

In exchange, Anderson Packaging promised 150 new jobs. Five months later, the company shitcanned 167 of its senior employees - the ones who were making too much - the ones who can be replaced with cheaper labor. Before the deal expires, Anderson could very well uphold its end of the bargain, but at the cost of its most loyal employees, and with lower-paying jobs.

After Morrissey cited the Anderson TIF deal, Correa noted the company had been given money to create jobs, only to turn around and permanently lay all these folks off. Way to go, Jesus!

I'm sure I'll have some more thoughts about this debate as I make my way through it. Stay tuned...