Even a broken clock is right twice a day

Ald. Pat Curran complained Monday night about the design of a bridge for Mayor Morrissey's river-walk project. He's a buffoon, but he was right this time. People are going to look at it, not only a hundred years from now, but 5 years from now, and wonder, "What were they thinking?"

Seriously, take a look at the conceptual drawing and tell me this suspension bridge looks like it even remotely belongs with the arched bridges it's attached to. As my daughter would say, "WTF?" A half-baked plan by a completely-baked council.

Never mind. It's not their money they're pissing away. The state is going to pay for most of it, or so our city fathers want to believe, so that makes it OK to do it half-assed. We in Rockford are used to that. We are the champions and patron saints of mediocrity.

Tim Dimke, head of the Rockford Park District, likened the project to Rockford's version of Disneyland. The paper didn't specify, but I suspect he said it with a straight face that needs to be sullied by a drunken, angry Irishman.

Has anyone pulling the strings in town actually lived outside of Rockford? I doubt it, and they certainly don't care to listen to anyone who has. No one, I mean no one, is going to be impressed by this floating turd. Certainly not anyone from out of town. It'll be just one more place for Rockfordians to end their Forbes-confirmed miserable lives.

Then there's Ann Thompson Kelly. She spent several minutes telling everyone how she's completely against the project. Then, she voted for it. Thanks, Ann. Your lip service proves how good of a friend you are to taxpayers.

She based her support on the $3,400,000 the state is pitching in. Guess what, Ann. Those dollars come from us taxpayers, too.

The underlying theme during discussion Monday night was the support of "stakeholders," namely the Burpee Museum. Supposedly, they like the bridge design because it fits in with their own expansion project.

Jesus, let them pay for it then. They're obviously the only ones the city is trying to please with this thing. Despite being a seat of culture, it's clear the museum folks have poor taste.

The taxpayers of Rockford have roundly rejected the whole river-walk idea from its inception, and no one is listening (unless you support it). Despite the state paying for much of the cost, we could use those dollars for other things. Members of the public during the council meeting aptly noted our roads are a much more deserving cause.

Downtown is a good cause, too, but we've spent more than enough money in that ghost town lately. Let's spread it around a bit for the rest of us who travel in other parts of the city. Before any "tourists" ever reach the river, all they're going to notice is the shit quality of our roads.

Isn't it ironic that the company who builds the roads is the same company that destroys them with their huge trucks?

My derelict friends began filing in hours ago for the mayor's 5th state of the city address later today. We will be ruthlessly drunk and sleep-deprived by the time the speech hits the airwaves at 6:00. We'd considered going down to the Coronado to witness the horrors in person, but they'd never let us near the place in the condition we'll be in. Instead, we'll be huddled around the radio like it's the 1940's.

The wife was displeased with me even before our "guests" arrived, but the kitchen is her happy place away from me. The less we see of each other, the better we get along. She'll leave me any day now, and probably take the kids, but that's the way it goes for true Patriots. Sometimes, we have to sacrifice our personal lives for the greater good. I have to believe that.

Take crooked aldermen down a notch; legalize drugs and prostitution

"I don't understand why prostitution is illegal. Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. So, why isn't it legal to sell fucking?" - George Carlin

Spring is in the air. I can tell because my allergies are awakening as my hibernation comes to an end.

It seems love is in the air, too, especially in the Broadway district where, apparently at the behest of Ald. Elyea, police have turned their attention from rounding up crack-whores to singling out the johns instead. They're the ones who can afford to throw money into the local corrupt justice system after all. Makes perfect sense for those who stand to make a buck, I suppose.

The Rockford Register Star, this town's version of Pravda for city government, has clearly signed on to the embarrass-the-johns initiative. Much to the Register Star's chagrin, one of its own reporters, Chris Green, was the subject of one such arrest for solicitation of a sexual act during the second of several recent prostitution details to take place in midtown.

As part of the police department's priority of arresting lonely men, the daily has seemingly also agreed to publish photos of the johns. If I was Linda Grist Cunningham, I'd make the department pay for that ink and space if they insist the photos be published, considering the police should have bigger fish to fry. Instead, those of us who subscribe to the paper are paying for it. The Star didn't implement this photo-publishing practice until the third wave of arrests, however, saving Green a smidgen of embarrassment. Poor bastard nonetheless.

So, who stands to benefit from the crackdown on street-level prostitution in the Broadway area? Glad you asked. Just a few blocks away, there are known establishments which cater to lonely men under the guise of "lingerie modeling" or "massage" parlors. These places never seem to get busted, do they? But we all know what goes on there. I wonder who the owners, and more importantly the silent partners, could be that police protection seems guaranteed. One former 11th Ward alderman was very closely tied to such an establishment. I hear that's even where he met his bride. Big surprise.

Also, by turning the focus away from arresting the drug-addicted prostitutes, who stands to benefit? Glad you asked that, too. Well, those who sell drugs would certainly benefit by keeping their customers out of jail.

Starting to connect the dots?

Considering the very serious and violent crimes we face in Rockford, is this what our police should be focusing their resources on? As they say, it's the world's oldest profession. You're never gonna put a dent in it as long as the human animal has instinctual desires. And, as for the ladies, let's not forget the need to survive.

Let's take a closer look as the long-standing tradition of prostitution in the 11th Ward. These ladies deserve to make a living, too. Most, if not all, are drug addicts, unfortunately. Still, they have no skills (or teeth) with which to get a "real" job. And let's get real. They have no opportunities to turn their lives around. Unless you'd like to shell out more taxes for social programs that won't work, just leave them and their customers the fuck alone. We've got bigger issues to solve.

Hell, I don't even have a problem with the drug trade in most respects. Let adults do what they will as long as no one else is getting hurt. On the other hand, those who peddle their poison to children, and use children to do so - well, they're a different story. That's about as low as you can get. Since police don't want to do anything about it, they need to step aside and look the other way while us parents take it into our own hands.

On that note, one of my daughters goes to Keith Country Day School and has VERY interesting things to say about what one local alderman is involved in. I'd encourage other parents who know what I'm talking about to contact me.

Mall removal contract payback for Rick's Place?

Tonight, Stenstrom was picked by the city council for a $1.9 million project to finally get rid of the crumbling pedestrian mall downtown.

There's been a lot of speculation about the fact that Ringland-Johnson bid $17,000 lower than Stenstrom, and there could be something to it. There have been hints R-J could pursue legal action as a result of being passed over, but there's a reason Larry, a lawyer by trade, keeps such a well-staffed legal department.

Someone on RRStar.com keeps commenting that Stenstrom gave $2,500 to the Morrissey campaign. While that's a relatively modest donation by Rockford mayoral standards, it's not nothing.

Although Ringland-(Brent)Johnson supported Mayor Scott, not Morrissey, I don't think this has much to do with political contributions.
If there is a conspiracy here, my guess is that it has more to do with Brent Johnson's decision to build the Rick Nielsen-Mecca at Riverside and I-90, instead of downtown. After making the rounds collecting tax breaks for the venture, ground has yet to be broken 20 months later as the economy has gone flacid.

Nielsen and Johnson's choice of locale hardly demonstrates a commitment to downtown, much to Larry's chagrin, and it wouldn't surprise me if the project is being strongarmed to shoot for downtown instead, after letting them sweat it out a bit of course.

It's possible that, until Rick and Brent learn to play nice with Larry, he may keep all the toys to himself.

When the proposed expanded gaming package inevitably dies in Springfield, Johnson and Nielsen may scuttle back to the table to see what additional incentives might be offered downtown to make the project happen.

My gut tells me we haven't heard the last of this.

The big orange problem child

Met-ro-cen-tre
n.
1. A hole in downtown Rockford into which money is poured

What's another $600,000 we'll never see again? That's how it's gonna go down and there's nothing you can do about it.

I returned home to Rockford this weekend from my jaunt in Puerto Rico and returned to work today, recharged and more Patriotic than ever.

Spade, I did get some longboarding (and plenty of sun) in by day. By night, well, that was time for serious debauchery with old friends aboard a yacht called Vajoliroja, which is bigger than my house.

It was hard to leave, especially since I hadn't even pissed off the San Juan authorities yet. But here I am, giving serious consideration to negotiating an early retirement package with my financially strapped public employer. I would think they'd be happy to get rid of me at nearly any cost, but we'll see how far I can push it.

In games of chance, either I'm lucky or my systems simply work. In any case, I think I could easily replace my income by instead spending 40 hours a week at the tracks and at card games.

Going back to work today was nearly enough to make me forget my toes had been wrestling with sand in a carefree paradise for the past week, which can sure make a guy resent working for a living.

The regular crowd was absent from the compound's usual city council drinking event. I suspect they haven't realized I've returned, and that's just as well. I could use the quiet.

Oh, I still drank as I watched the meeting, but at least I was able to do it in peace.

Okay, the Metrocentre wants a $600,000 loan so its employees and other obligations can get paid a little while longer.

They say one of the main disappointments is that naming rights haven't been sold yet. Don't worry, lads and lasses, I fully expect to visit the Puri Center in the near future

The council keeps on getting put in the position of injecting more tax dollars into a Titanic disaster, because the Authority Board knows the city has too much invested to cut them off now. Truly, think of it as using a bucket to rid water from the hull of the doomed luxury liner.

You know, Doug Block mumbled about this issue during the mayoral campaign, but he should have spoken louder, as it was obviously put off by Morrissey until after the election. Alas, hindsight is always 20/20, they say.

What I don't understand is why the city keeps bailing the Metrocentre out, but that the leadership there is never questioned. These people promised us grand results for the $20,000,000+ they talked us into not very long ago and it's time to pull rank and appoint some competence.

-"You think I'm skimming off the top, Mike?"
-"No, I think you're unlucky. Maybe we can do better."