Monday, April 6, 2009

Who I’m endorsing, and who I’ll actually vote for...

I'm gonna try to keep this as short as possible, because I'm not in the mood right now. As predicted, they started arriving shortly before 10AM today, already smelling like breweries, brandishing firearms and compelled to gamble on each of the local races. I'm sick of them already, but by the time the polls open in the morning, I'll get my second wind to carry me until all precincts have reported.

By the way, Mr. Nicolosi, I've got big money riding on you for a township spot. Don't let me down, kiddo. I'm told my oldest needs braces.

When the city council drinking game was finished this evening, an inexplicable lull came over the compound - the calm before the storm on election day, I suppose. Anyway, I'm taking this moment to deliver what I've promised.

April 7 will be a long night for those of us watching the local races. Some will celebrate victories, other will mourn defeats, and I expect to do a little of both.

We have a choice, fellow Patriots. The choice is whether we keep city hall in the hands of the lawyers, or give it to the cops - Not a comfortable decision to make, as both industries continue to cause significant amounts of grief in my own life.

There are, of course, two other candidates for mayor, but even before the Democratic primary was decided, it was clear the race would be between Block and incumbent Morrissey.

Jesus Correa is still plugging along, usually showing up for forums and debates when he’s invited. By the time this election’s done, Jesus might actually have learned quite a bit, but I don’t suspect we’ll see him run again in four years. However, I would wholeheartedly endorse Correa for a leadership position that will give him the resources to craft downtown into his inspired yet attainable vision.

I also liked his comments about the police. As he deftly noted, people fear cops whether they’ve done anything wrong or not. No one is happy to see a cop in their rear-view mirror, yet they’re never around when you need them, right?

Correa advocated for officers to actually get to know the residents of the communities they protect – an excellent idea. Too much time is spent driving around in squad cars instead of doing the legwork that makes a difference. Police need to build relationships with citizens if we’re gonna put a real dent in crime. Better yet, Jello Biafra once proposed that police officers should be elected by the neighborhoods they serve.

Lord knows the neighbors need someone to turn to when they find me pissing in their rose bushes and blasting a shotgun into the air at 5AM on a Sunday.

John Harmon, you’ve got a lot of wisdom and sensible ideas. During this campaign, you have been consistently stellar in identifying problems and presenting solutions. As far as my score sheet is concerned, you won every debate.

Comparing the cases presented by all four candidates, I hereby endorse John H. Harmon for mayor of Rockford, but that's not who I'll be voting for.

Unfortunately, John’s strengths are in politics, not in making friends. When you’re running as a Republican in a city of Democrats, you’ve already got an uphill battle. Add to that the fact that few in your own party support you and you’ve got, as Larry would say, a tough row to hoe.

John, I recommend you retire from running for office. Instead, you could keep your hand in things as a campaign consultant. Believe it or not, that actually might give folks like Jim Thacker something to worry about. Give it some serious thought. [Patriot’s note: I wrote this suggestion last night, prior to hearing Mr. Harmon mention such a possibility during today’s WNTA debate].

While Harmon, point for point, presented the strongest arguments to earn my endorsement, he simply cannot win, so my actual vote must be cast either for Larry or for Doug.

Doug is a well-liked guy. Considering that he worked internal affairs (not a popular position in the department), it's impressive that he has the full trust of Rockford's finest. And no matter what Larry dishes out, Block will be okay in my book, too.

However, I can’t ignore that he obviously has the interests of the police union at heart. His knowledge about other issues, quite frankly, is not up to snuff this time around. The problem, I think, is that Block’s candidacy is more about dethroning Larry than anything else. Beyond that, Doug doesn’t appear to have real plans yet to address the multitude of issues facing the city if he’s actually elected.

On the other hand, just about everyone who voted for Larry feels let down.

If we learned anything from the GW Bush debacle, however, choosing the guy you’d most like to do blow with while driving drunk isn’t always the best course of action. When it comes to that, there’s no question I’d rather party with Doug, but this is no Tijuana titty-bar.

At Block’s present level of fluency with the issues, I’m much more inclined to leave things in Larry’s hands right now, and I’ll grudgingly cast my vote for Morrissey.

There you have it, for whatever it's worth.

This is a tighter race than Larry would like, but I predict he'll win it. I've got money on it in fact, and I'm determined to fleece the derelicts in my living room who think Block has the edge.

If Morrissey is re-elected, I'll be scrambling to collect an estimated $14,000 in winnings before I board a plane for San Juan Saturday. In which case, a new Reynolds Yater high performance longboard will be my first purchase once I hit the beach. The remainder will, of course, be spent on foolish endeavors I hope to remember later.

Hang loose, Patriots.


  1. raoul duke

    you're always shooting your mouth off. keep up the good work!

    xox CogZilla

  2. Just in time for Hurricane Season... a long board might be your best choice.

    Also, you can take a short 30 minute flight to Santo Domingo, DomRep. Great Cigars and Rum... and some of the hottest Latinas in the Caribe', Dude!

    The north shore from Puerto Plata to Brava is know to be great for surfing and sail boarding.

    Just a word-to-the-wise: Watch your ass in Puerto Plata; HIV and ex-Stasi guys run neck-in-neck in the contest of who can kill the most dumb Anglos...

  3. yay... i was actually rooting for harmon too... even tho many of my river district peers think i'm crazy to even consider a (real) republican. i thought he addressed a lot of real rockford issues that most residents can recognize, and he's a real conservative... a fiscal conservative... which is what any government needs these days. block reminds me of bush in 2000... lot's of promises, and some nice political catch phrases... but if put in office will only stand behind his union/corporate groups. morrisey... i only notice more cops driving around since he's been in office... and jesus... i must say he made the whole process more entertaining to watch... and has probably influenced some people to be more interested in rockford politics, wich is a great thing! i guess you could call him the ron paul of rockford (?). but alas... why should rockford politics be any different than the mainstream... just another dog n pony show. the people will vote for whoever the news is talking to the most and getting the most face time, and with all the yard signs. with that tho... i really hope doug doesn't win... but at the end of the day... does it really matter here?

    oh well... i'm voting for harmon... gotta vote with my heart n conscious.

  4. All in all you did a good thing during this here campaign. Congratulations.