Even a broken clock is right twice a day

Ald. Pat Curran complained Monday night about the design of a bridge for Mayor Morrissey's river-walk project. He's a buffoon, but he was right this time. People are going to look at it, not only a hundred years from now, but 5 years from now, and wonder, "What were they thinking?"

Seriously, take a look at the conceptual drawing and tell me this suspension bridge looks like it even remotely belongs with the arched bridges it's attached to. As my daughter would say, "WTF?" A half-baked plan by a completely-baked council.

Never mind. It's not their money they're pissing away. The state is going to pay for most of it, or so our city fathers want to believe, so that makes it OK to do it half-assed. We in Rockford are used to that. We are the champions and patron saints of mediocrity.

Tim Dimke, head of the Rockford Park District, likened the project to Rockford's version of Disneyland. The paper didn't specify, but I suspect he said it with a straight face that needs to be sullied by a drunken, angry Irishman.

Has anyone pulling the strings in town actually lived outside of Rockford? I doubt it, and they certainly don't care to listen to anyone who has. No one, I mean no one, is going to be impressed by this floating turd. Certainly not anyone from out of town. It'll be just one more place for Rockfordians to end their Forbes-confirmed miserable lives.

Then there's Ann Thompson Kelly. She spent several minutes telling everyone how she's completely against the project. Then, she voted for it. Thanks, Ann. Your lip service proves how good of a friend you are to taxpayers.

She based her support on the $3,400,000 the state is pitching in. Guess what, Ann. Those dollars come from us taxpayers, too.

The underlying theme during discussion Monday night was the support of "stakeholders," namely the Burpee Museum. Supposedly, they like the bridge design because it fits in with their own expansion project.

Jesus, let them pay for it then. They're obviously the only ones the city is trying to please with this thing. Despite being a seat of culture, it's clear the museum folks have poor taste.

The taxpayers of Rockford have roundly rejected the whole river-walk idea from its inception, and no one is listening (unless you support it). Despite the state paying for much of the cost, we could use those dollars for other things. Members of the public during the council meeting aptly noted our roads are a much more deserving cause.

Downtown is a good cause, too, but we've spent more than enough money in that ghost town lately. Let's spread it around a bit for the rest of us who travel in other parts of the city. Before any "tourists" ever reach the river, all they're going to notice is the shit quality of our roads.

Isn't it ironic that the company who builds the roads is the same company that destroys them with their huge trucks?

My derelict friends began filing in hours ago for the mayor's 5th state of the city address later today. We will be ruthlessly drunk and sleep-deprived by the time the speech hits the airwaves at 6:00. We'd considered going down to the Coronado to witness the horrors in person, but they'd never let us near the place in the condition we'll be in. Instead, we'll be huddled around the radio like it's the 1940's.

The wife was displeased with me even before our "guests" arrived, but the kitchen is her happy place away from me. The less we see of each other, the better we get along. She'll leave me any day now, and probably take the kids, but that's the way it goes for true Patriots. Sometimes, we have to sacrifice our personal lives for the greater good. I have to believe that.

Puri a player in riverwalk grudge match?

Uppance has come for John Taphorn, who backed out of a deal last summer to lease the city 265 feet of riverfront sidewalk at 120 W. State St. for Mayor Morrissey's riverwalk. The city would have paid $10 a year for the 20-year lease.

For 10 bucks a year, it's no wonder Taphorn wanted to graze in greener pastures.

A 2003 brief on Statelinebusiness.com identified Taphorn as president of Rock Valley Brick and Supply Co. I don't know if that info is still accurate, but my imagination suggests that maybe John was hoping for assurance of a contract for the riverwalk project. This, of course, is only speculation, but my gut is usually pretty close to the mark.

The $950,000 originally planned to develop that portion of the riverwalk went to other city projects, like elimination of the Main Street mall.

Larry hasn't forgotten and Taphorn was recently cited for not having permits for a significant "landscaping" project on the riverfront strip Morrissey hoped to lease. Work was brought to a halt until Taphorn plays by the rules.

I guess Larry only wants the area improved on his own terms. With Taphorn, not the city, taking on the beautification project, the area will remain private property.

Interestingly, Taphorn contributed $1,000 to Morrissey in 2004. Larry must be wondering what John's done for him lately.

By the way, Taphorn apparently only owns the building, not the land. According to county property records, a parcel at 120 W. State is owned by Winnebago Corners, LLC - You guessed it: Sunil Puri.

Block campaign begins to unravel

Just two or three weeks ago, Doug Block was having the best week ever. Could it be he peaked too early in the campaign? We shall see, because here in the home stretch, Mayor Morrissey is really pouring it on to swing the momentum in his own favor.

Larry convened what was apparently an invitation-only scandalfest for the media Tuesday at Forest Hills Country Club, just moments after he'd eaten lunch beside Block.

From what I understand, Larry showed members of the local press obscene text messages that none of them could possibly air or print. Why would he do this? Is it because his feelings were hurt?

I wouldn't count on it. He simply knows it'll make Block look like an ignorant union goon. Well, son Dan certainly looks like an ass, because this little thing could be enough to derail his dad's campaign, even though Doug cut Dan loose from the campaign a day later. The damage is already done, with less than a week to recover.

If we've learned anything from the Billy Carters and Roger Clintons of this world, Doug, it's that some family members oughta be mailed to Nepal during a campaign, and kept there if you're elected.

Larry's point: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Apparently, Larry wheeled out some other complaints about Block's supporters, but they had little, if anything, to do with Doug himself. I think Larry really just wanted an excuse for giving the media hardons by confiding in them the contents of the text message, so as to perhaps manipulate the local press to put Block on the defensive, regardless of how silly it all is.

As I understand it, and mentioned earlier, Doug and Larry apparently attended some sort of candidate luncheon at Forest Hills CC just before the private donkey show. Obviously, Larry wanted Doug to see the media filing in as the luncheon ended. Naturally, Doug would stick around to see what's up.

After Larry got the local press all spun into a frenzy behind closed doors, he turned them loose on Block, who was apparently waiting right outside for the ambush. Very calculated.

Chuck Sweeny's column today brought up another good point. Doug's been running an ad based on a Register Star article he obviously never finished reading. What's sad is that it's starting to appear that Doug doesn't even realize the claim in his ad is false.

I personally think Doug's a good guy, but that he's really not fluent in issues unrelated to the police. If he doesn't win this time around, he can become awfully strong in the next four years if he broadens his horizons.

Adding to Block's woes, I see Frank Schier threw his endorsement behind Morrissey. Not a surprise after Larry threw Schier a bone Monday by backing off on industrial zoning along the Kish. Both men got what they wanted.

But you know it's a close race when Larry actually needs TRRT's endorsement, and I'm willing to bet Block was hoping to get it himself. It's just that tight.

If you think it's ugly now, just wait to see what Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday will bring. Those are the days that will decide this race.

Now is the point in the campaign where Larry will reach deep into his substantial warchest to bury Block if at all possible. This week, you'll see the difference having lots of money makes, Doug.

I certainly hope that Mr. Block is a reader by now. I have some advice that may be of help in these last days before the election:

1. Doug McDuff is trying to get the two of you in a room together. Take that opportunity. Begin by offering a sincere, public apology for the conduct of some of your supporters. Make it short, but heartfelt. Then, say, "Now, let's talk about the issues."
   
2. No more TIF districts. John Harmon is absolutely correct in his assertion that they are a BIG source of debt. Give John a call. I have the feeling he'd be happy to brief you, because I'm sure he knows he can't win. Beating Larry is good enough for him any way he can get it. And don't be afraid to credit Jesus Correa with questioning the success of TIF in the case of Anderson Packaging. This is right up your alley, Doug, and it'll show voters you know about more than just union bullshit. This is a story about 167 loyal Anderson workers getting fucked right after the city gave them $1.1 million to expand and create new jobs, and Larry calls it a victory. Sure, Anderson will probably hire enough illegal aliens at low wages in order to live up to its end of the bargain of creating jobs, but a lot of good people got canned. Be outraged about it, because you oughta be.
3. Advocate for a casino downtown.
4. Get Rick Nielsen to endorse you.
5. Pledge to sell the IceHogs to a responsible local buyer if at all possible. Although you love the team, you should be opposed to city ownership. Do you suppose Dr. T and Craig could afford to buy them back now? Maybe it's just a pipe dream, but maybe not. Start making some calls and crunching some numbers, and undo an injustice done by Larry to the team you love.
   
6. Tie Morrissey family relations to Coppergate. The connection is there.
7. Draw attention to Ryan Brauns' connections to Morrissey while also being on the Board of Elections (not to mention consulting contract[s]). Talk about a fucking conflict.
8. Advocate for concealed carry. The county board has already shown its willingness. Pledge to work with them to educate the public on the facts and dispel the myths. Then, an advisory referendum will pass, which will put a little more pressure on the legislature.
9. Kill the riverwalk. That'll happen on its own once the casino is downtown, without having to go through people's backyards.
   
10. Change your position on removing the pedestrian mall. It's a good thing to get rid of it.

There's 10 to get ya started, Doug. If I see you using any of these recommendations in the next couple days, I'll be glad to offer further counsel.

The Patriot has spoken, and it is so.

I'm spent. Ruthlessly drunk. The kids are asleep and the wife is waiting. As my balls slap against her in a matter of moments, I'll be thinking about election day.